I'm sick to death of Jeff's friends and aquaintances assuming I'm a bitchy wife. Well, not exactly assuming. One guy several years ago made a seemingly innocuous comment that kind of pissed me off. It was right after we got the first newer car, a used '96 Monte Carlo, after the '78 Camaro. We were outside and he commented on the car, then said something to the effect of, "There's nothing like a happy woman." First of all, his wife at the time (and my current neighbor), is one of the biggest bitches I know. And I mean bitch in the bad way. Second, how about I needed a reliable car so I could get a decent job (knowing I'd probably have to drive downtown)! And fuck you anyway, you fat, sweaty, lisping asshole!

Then there's another guy who visited us this Sunday. He just got divorced and apparently argues with his ex-wife about how she spends the child support he gives her, etc. Now, based on what he says she does seem like a bitch. But, he's such an asshole that I know I'd kill if I had to live with him. And I don't know her side of the story. Anyway, when I allude that I'm ready to go to the grocery store as they sat there slack-jawed watching NASCAR, he makes a comment like, "Well, I don't have to answer to a woman anymore..." etc. Yeah, great. You and lefty get along just fine, living with your momma. I overheard Jeff tell this guy once that I was the least bitchy wife he knew (I guess of all his friends' wives). OK yes, I took that as a compliment, backhanded as it is.

Taken from rumblelizard, who took it from pandionna:

Spell your first name backwards: 31ytsirhc - um, ok.

The story behind your username: I'm not very original? My real first name plus my favorite/lucky number (other than 5) and the date of my birth.

Are you a lesbian? No

Where do you live? Georgia

Four words that sum you up: dichotomous (kept this one from rumblelizard - I'm a Gemini after all), reliable, logical, intelligent

School: Associate of Applied Technology - Computer Programming

Wallet: Yes, in my purse (with the knives, pepper spray, lip gloss, etc.)

Hairbrush: Black and gray, nothing special

Toothbrush: Oral B cross-action

Pillow cover: one navy and one cream with navy stripes. Probably from Linens N' Things.

Blanket: Quilt my mother-in-law made

Facewash: Cetaphil or Proactiv

Street: OK, except the occasional thumping cars (yes, sometimes it is me, but not at 2 in the morning). Two little yappy dogs next door, and a screamer (the bitch I mentioned above) on the other side.

Neighbors: The bitch and her live in boyfriend. We don't think her third child is his, though she claims it is. It looks suspiciously like her last boyfriend. Bi-racial couple and their teenage son and aforementioned yappy dogs on the other side. Very nice. There's a huge house through the woods behind us, and they have horses. It's rank if it's hot and we're downwind.

Coffee cup: Diet Coke, please.

Sunglasses: Cheap polarized 100% UV sunglasses from a drugstore, not sure which one. (Clark Howard would be so proud!) I have some high dollar ones, but am too likely to scratch them up or close them in the hood of a car (did that when I had the '72 Cutlass).

Shoes: summer - slip-on black sandals; winter - all black boots, all the time (expect when it's the red ones)

Handbag: Some black vinyl thing I got at the consignment shop that has a cell phone pocket.

Favorite top: black sleeveless tee with a cute pink (I know, what's wrong with me?) kitty graphic on it. It says Cafe Meow, and the kitty wears a crown with rhinestones on it.

CD in stereo right now: Queens of the Stone Age - Queens of the Stone Age

Tattoos: sun/moon on right shoulder, I'd have one on my lower back (possibly an ankh) but I'm too indecisive.

Piercings: Ears only, 7 total.

What you are wearing now: black v-neck sleeveless shirt, olive-green pants, black slip on sandals that squeak like orthopedics

Makeup/Beauty Products: Bare Escentuals foundation, eye shadows and lipstick (called hubba hubba); Mary Kay pressed powder, Maybelline white coverstick, Maybelline Lash Discovery mascara, Vaseline Lip Therapy

Do you like candles? Sometimes. I rarely have time to think about lighting one, except for drunken naked time.

Do you like hot wax? No

Do you like incense? Eh, some of it.

Do you like the taste of blood? Not really.

Do you believe in love? Yes, but not in the fairy tale. It takes work.

Do you believe in soul mates? Not really. I don't really think there's only one person for everyone.

Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe in lust at first sight for sure. (Ditto to Rumblelizard's answer.)

Do you believe in Heaven or Hell? No.

Do you believe in forgiveness? Depends on the infraction, the level of remorse of the guilty, my mood, etc.

Do you believe in God or the Devil? I'm not sure what I believe at this point, but not in the christian mythology.

What do you want done with your body when you die? Cremation, definitely. I don't agree with the religious reasons for embalming, plus it creeps me out to look at a body that way. I don't want that to be done to my body. Just burn me.

What's the best gift anyone has ever given you? Either most of the money toward the down payment on our house (from Jeff's parents), or the gift certificate for 6 hour-long massages from Jeff last christmas.

What's your favorite insult? Fuckwad. (Dickhole's good, too.)

What are you gonna do when you're older? Get to go on a vacation/honeymoon.

How many songs do you have on your computer?

What band are you listening to now? See above. (QOTSA - Yes, I'm obsessed. So?)

Look out your window. Window? Hahahaha!

If you could have any animal for a pet? A Cockatoo, but they're a long committment and a big responsibility. Plus, I hear they're a pain in the ass and messy. (And I think the menagerie I have now is quite enough to clean up after.)

What is the latest you've ever stayed up? Lately, 4am. missleigh and I went to Athens in March to see QOTSA. (How many more times can I mention them in this thing?)

I am...unmotivated and answering these questions when I should be working

I know...I'm a good person.

I want...my new contacts right the fuck NOW!

I have...three very talkative kitties.

I wish...I liked how I look in a bikini.

I hate...liars.

I love...my family, friends and pets

I miss...my Granddad. I haven't seen him in about 3 years.

I fear...wasps.

I hear...Josh Homme singing You Would Know ("shut up, oh", there I go again).

I search for...inner peace? No really. Insomnia, anyone?

I wonder...Who's seeing this right now as I type. (Big brother.)

I regret...not having my dad walk me down the aisle at my wedding.

I ache...from my workouts from the last 2 days (quads, especially).

I care...how animals are treated.

I always...do what I say I'll do, or let someone know if I can't.

I am not...a wuss.

I dance...only alone, or with missleigh in the car when Bombs Over Bagdad comes on.

I sing...alone in the car, or when I'm home alone.

I cry...during movies where a person or animal dies. Philadelphia and Turner & Hooch get to me. Is there a Tom Hanks connection? He does remind me of my brother.

I do not always...think before I speak.

I fight...if necessary.

I write...Only in this diary. And COBOL/SQL/JCL code.

I confuse...the gossipy women at work.

I need...air, food, water, shelter (again, rumblelizard's answer), chocolate, diet coke (Ok, I don't need the last two.)

Preferences

Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate

Croutons or bacon bits: croutons

Coffee or Tea: Tea (it'd better be sweet)

Pepsi or Coke: diet coke

Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt: Eh. Josh Homme or Dave Navarro

Memories

Happiest Memory: my wedding, pitiful as it was

Saddest Memory: When the family dog died unexpectedly

Most Embarrassing Memory: Waking up with no pants on and puke in my hair after a night of drinking and debauchery.

Scariest Memory: Climbing an embankment to flag down someone with a CB radio to call an ambulance. My mother rolled the car down the embankment and was trapped underneath.

Past

Where were you born? Atlanta

Worst medical accident: Almost degloving my left ring finger in a freak accident less than 90 days at my last job. (Actually, my only medical accident besides being thrown from a car when I was 4.)

First time you ever went on a plane: Flying to California to gather information to shut down a call center for my last job. We were seen as the enemy, and "taking their jobs." It was also at the same time as when the crazy comet cult committed suicide.

What was your worst fear as a child? the dark? My brothers used to lock me in "the dungeon" (basement) until I learned to pick the lock.

Did you ever suck your thumb? No, I don't think so.

Have you ever been convicted of a crime? No, just a speeding ticket on an Air Force Base, which did not go on my record.

What's the wackiest thing you did as a child? Don't know.

What's the meanest thing you've ever said to anyone?: You WHORE!!! This was to a close friend, but it was true.

Future

How long do you think you'll live? 80s

Do you think you'll have the same friends as now? Probably, though some may fade away, or be eliminated after I tire of the hassle of trying to be their friend.

Do you want to be famous? No.

Do you think you'll have the same personality when you're 60? Probably.