Psychologically, also, you are more androgynous than sharply polarized as either man or woman. This means that you are able to relate equally well to men and women, having much of both in your inner make up. In some ways, however, you are apt to feel non-identified with your gender and perhaps that you are not a "real" man or woman, or a secret confusion over feeling neither wholly male or female but some curious place in between, a blend of both...

You see at least two sides of everything and are often of two minds about any given topic. You possess many opposing attributes within yourself and it is part of your soul development to bring them together, Christy, within yourself. In addition to the male/female dualist, there is the idealist/cynic and the rational scientist/intuitive mystic (or "believer"), among others.

I guess that partially explains my political views. Of course, being raised by men contributed to my views, opinions and behaviors. People who know me probably think I harp on this a lot, but it's true. I didn't have a whole lot of female input as a child. And the type of men (2 older brothers and dad) who were around in my years of development influenced me. I'm analytical, logical, a realist, sometimes a cynic, and can be somewhat harsh and abrupt in my dealing with other people.

I have an extreme dislike of lots of girly things, like the color pink (or pastels in general), flowered patterns, lace, ruffles, etc. Jeff and I were recently in the mall and stopped by Frederick's. He's not hard to please when it comes to lingerie, so he showed me several things he liked. I nixed all but one for reasons like color, having lace or ruffles, or flowers. I'm sure I'm not unique in my tastes, but sometimes I feel like an alien. Like my dislike of children. People can't seem to get their minds around the fact that a woman may not like or want to have kids. Whoa, let's stop right there. I'm in no mood to go off on that tangent again right now.

Oh my gods, I am so irritated at this asshole at work. She is known to not be a team player, and I got a taste of that today. I had a question about a program that had her name on it, so I politely asked her. She said she didn't know about the problem I was having (caused by a change she undoubtedly made), and did not know who did. That's not the rude part. As I was flipping through a printout to show her something, she looks back at her computer and starts to type something, then writes something down. For a second, I thought she was looking for something to help me. Oh, no. She had gone back to what she was doing, and was at that point ignoring me. From what I've heard from other people, this is normal behavior for her. I mean, even if I don't know about a program someone is asking me about, I am not that rude. I offer suggestions, I say, "Sorry, I don't", or even look into it if applicable. How fucking rude. I hope I never have to work with her on anything. My office mate has, and he said it was a big pain in his ass.

This girl has been like this since I started this job. She started a few months before I did. On my first day, I walked over to the mall across the street for lunch with her and another girl I'd befriended. When the girl I liked walked somewhere as we sat at a table to eat, this asshole sat there like a bump on a frog's ass. I tried to engage her in conversation several times, but got grunts or monosyllabic answers. I first thought she just didn't like me, then I thought she was socially challenged, or something.

Come to find out, she's actually social with a select group of people. Well, so am I, but I'm not rude to the people I don't necessarily like or associate with (unless in response to their rudeness). Whatever. I've already wasted enough time on it.