We bought 5 of the 10 windows we need, and that was $500-something. So, The replacements were all more expensive and special order. So, I'm thinking up to $1500, but we're putting it on the lower interest credit card. It's a hassle since we have to take 4 of the 5 new ones back, special order the replacement style ones (all the ones we needed were special order, bastards), then take the 5th new one back whenever those come in. Or, you know, put the plywood back up, which is so atrractive.

Well, wasn't that boring?

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We went bowling Saturday night, and I sucked because I was tired and not really into it. I think I bowled a 47 and a 68. Woohoo. At least last time I got a 102.

We came home and got our drink on. Me with Captain Morgan's Reserve and him with Three Pinch Scotch. We both mixed with coke after trying shots and burning our throats. And we made that face. You know, the straight liquor face, and the noise. I used to be able to drink Jack Daniels, Bacardi Rum, even Golden Grain (ok, just that once) straight. Getting old.

Jeff decided to order some porn on pay-per-view. (We've been together 13 years and married 11, gotta spice things up somehow!) I made the mistake of letting him pick it with no input from me. He picked something called Les Vampyres 2. Oh my god it was sooooo bad. I mean, it's porn. I expected it to be bad, but this was beyond. It was these 2 girl vampires who scoped out their male victim to have a three-way with and then suck the blood out of him. I mean, they gave him head without him returning the favor. You'd think the undead could at least scare him into it. To quote Khia - "...you might roll dubs, you might have Gs, but so what, playa, get on yo' knees..." Sheesh. Return the favor and you might not have been killed, loverboy.

We get like a 3 hour block when we order something. So, after that was "Strip Search." We played the fake or real game. It's not to difficult to figure out, what with the dyslexic plastic surgeons some of these girls must see. There were lots of interesting piercings, too. I had to stop watching. It was enough to make a girl develop an eating disorder.

Oh, before the porn, we watched Real Sex. My oh my. One segment was about these guys who make "fuck machines" that women basically hook up to and let the guys screw them with the motorized dicks. Well, how...sexy. One actually rotated, and the girl said, "I don't think a real guy could do that." Really! You don't think? Nobel Prize for you!!!!

Another segment was about this couple who does a Jim Rose circus type of show, but it's a sex thing. There's pasties, strap-ons, fire eating, and plate spinning. She spun a plate on a stick with a dildo on the end inserted into her vagina. Now that's talent!

Did anyone watch the train wreck on E!, the Anna Nicole Smith show? Oh, the humanity. She is the female Elvis. Ballooning weight and pills and incoherency. Her son must be so proud of his mommy. Wait until his friends at school see this show.

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