Twisted.

Brand loyalty.

Big Ol' Pimp.

Spreading fear.

Where's me parrot?

In my kitchen or fridge, washed and ready to eat: cherries, blueberries, red grapes (a bit left from last week), watermelon (sliced), pink grapefruit, 2 apricots, dried pitted dates, 'veggie lovers' bagged salad, 3 golden delicious apples, 2 cucumbers, 1 head cauliflower, celery, baby carrots. Some of those are Jeff's, and there were strawberries, but Jeff already ate them all. Fucker. Do you think we've gone overboard? I hope we can eat it all before any of it goes bad.

Why the fuck does Kroger put the yeast infection stuff behind glass with the condoms and pregnancy tests? Is that a frequently stolen item? Sheesh.