You want some of this?

Get in the kitchen and bake me a pie!

HAhahahahaha!!!

I think P, K, and Leigh know who this sounds like.

What is your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

Now that is not right. And beer was not an option, so it fucked up the whole thing.

Grow a mullet, already. (Go here, click on personal, click on second pic, top row. Cracks my shit up. Thanks, Trent!)

Stolen from Bitchypoo:

1. You have $10 and need to buy snacks at a gas station; what do you buy? A Diet Cherry Coke and a Payday or a Baby Ruth (or Fig Newtons). Maybe some Twizzlers. A bottle of water if there's enough money.

2. If you had to be reincarnated as some sort of sea dwelling creature, what would you be? Something badass that can protect itself. Shark, maybe? Barracuda?

3. Who�s your favorite redhead? Josh Homme, of course, with Tori Amos a close second.

4. What do you order when you�re at a pancake house? Pancakes or griddle cakes. No eggs, bacon, or sausage.

5. Do you own any naughty toys? Yes.

6. Have you made out with anyone on your buddy list? No.

7. Describe your favorite pair of underwear: Um, the ones that don't creep into my ass or show lines.

8. Describe the last time you were injured: The last serious injury I had was in 1996 when I tried to de-glove my left ring finger less than 90 days into my new job at the time. No health insurance yet, but workman's comp kicked in. I was walking into the hall to go to the next row of cubicles to talk to a girl named Sabrina. I dragged my hand along the wall as I used to tend to do, and my wedding rings caught on the door jamb/key plate and stopped me cold. I'm still not sure if that or the rings cut my finger. Some people thought I'd hit my head because I fell to the ground when it happened. My finger started to swell rapidly. My boss took me down to the lobby to meet an ambulance. They cut my engagement ring off, then cut my wedding band but were unable to bend it to remove it. (It was 10k, but now I have 14k which is softer.) I refused the ambulance ride due to fear of cost, so my boss took me to the ER. When they took too much time over the fact that I had no insurance, my boss raised hell and said that my finger was still swelling, would you mind moving it along? I don't know the number of stitches, but there were soft tissue ones before they stitched my skin. At some point the shots started to wear off and I could feel it, so they dosed me again. That shit hurt, because they put the shots in between my fingers and knuckles.

They told me not to remove the bandages all weekend (this was on a Friday), so I didn't. That Monday when I went to a doctor, they had to soak my hand in peroxide (I think) to get them off. Finally I just ripped it because it wasn't loosening. Ouch. I had to wear a protective cast to avoid busting it back open. I had physical therapy to regain movement and avoid the scar tissue from putting my finger into a permanent bend. I even had to use a little massager (heh), wash cloths, etc. to de-sensitize the scar so I could wear my wedding rings again. A huge ordeal, and you can still see the scars. My knuckle on that finger is still larger than it was, making that finger the same ring size as my middle finger. I have complete movement, though. I got a bigger diamond out of the deal, too.

9. Are there any odd things that make you feel comfortable? Not that I can think of at the moment.

I don't know where 10 is, Bitchypoo left it out also.

11. Tell me a weird story from your high school years: Well, there was the time Leigh walked in on Jeff and I having sex in P's basement/bedroom because her Dad was there to pick her up and she needed her bag. Does that qualify? Um...I'm sure there's more, but I just can't think of them now.

12. What is the wallpaper on your cell phone? A sunrise pic that came with the phone.

13. Soda? Diet Cherry Coke.

14. Flavor of pudding? Blegh. How 'bout a smoothie?

15. What type of shirt are you wearing? blue v-neck sweater (yesterday when I filled this out)

16. Prescription medication? Flonase, Allegra-D, and Yasmin.

17. If you could use only one form of transportation for the rest of your life what would it be? Uh, car?

18. How many people are on your buddy list? 23

19. How many people on your buddy list do you know in real life? Three.

20. What are you listening to right now? Clark Howard (yesterday)

21. Most recent movie you watched: I tried to watch Shelter Dogs, but didn't get through 5 minutes. Before that, Hotel Rwanda.

22. Name 5 things you have with you at all times: Cell phone, some sort of lip balm, my keys (including my pepper spray keychain), a pocket knife, sunglasses.

23. Would you rather give or receive a foot massage? Give. My feet cramp up, but I'm sure it would be lovely if they didn't.

24. Name a teacher you had the hots for: None.

25. What is a saying that you use a lot? Fucking hell.

26. What�s one piece of advice that you think should be passed on to every child? Stop being such a little asshole.

Meme #2

What were you doing 10 years ago? Working at a job I hated.

What were you doing 1 year ago? Pretty much the same things I'm doing now, but with fewer cats.

Five snacks I enjoy: Liz Lovely Cowgirl Cookies, Betty Lou's Almond Butter Balls, Wha Guru Chews, red grapes, clementines

Five songs to which I know all the lyrics: The majority of Tori Amos, Queens of the Stone Age, Slayer, and Metallica songs. Especially Medication, Angel of Death, and Seek & Destroy. Oh, I know all the words to Lodi Dodi and The Show by Doug E. Fresh and Slick Rick. As kids, a cousin and I would 'perform' them and we'd take turns being Slick Rick. That was kind of embarrassing. Maybe I should have kept that to myself.

Five things I would do if I were a millionaire: Build my dream home, buy my dream car(s), pay off debts, save for retirement, take a damn vacation (or 12).

Five bad habits: Sweet-aholic, procrastinating, surfing on the net all the time (see #2), "herming", buying too many clothes (especially on clearance and/or at thrift and consignment shops - hey, it's a dollar!)

Five things I like doing: kickboxing, shopping, reading, listening to music, walks on the beach (kidding)

Five things I would never wear, buy or get new again: Anything lace, pink, orange, or ruffled; a dickey; thongs; Uggs; or a shrug. (Uggs and a Shrug, playing Friday at the Roxy.)