I got an email yesterday with the subject: "Christy13 Enlarge Your Penis, Safely and Naturally!" Woo hoo! I'll be packin'! I mean, my schlong is huge as it is. It's colossal. It's stupendous. I keep it in a jar. OK, not really. My friend Paula used to keep hers in a jar, though. Long story.

My physical was pretty easy. I was weighed and measured, peed in a cup, had blood drawn, and talked to the doctor about my exercise habits, diet, supplements, and concerns. He said most of what I'm taking was probably not necessary, but it probably wouldn't hurt me. He said if all his patients became vegetarians and were as healthy as me, he'd be out of business (or something like that). He also said being a vegetarian would have me better off healthwise when I'm older. I weighed 122, and was 126 in March or April (whenever I went in to replace the Claritin with Allegra). He said to watch that because I didn't want it to go down any further. I said, "Why not?" and he just looked at me like, "Um...." I guess he didn't want to offend me. He asked my height (5'2"), and I told him I could stand to lose a few more pounds. Now he probably thinks I have an eating disorder or something.

He also looked at my feet. I have the beginnings of bunions, or enlarged big toe joints. It's probably from wearing high heels to much. I used to get bad cramps in my feet, too. That has gotten better since I started wearing lower heels and reduced the frequency of wearing them. No, it's not low potassium. Everyone says that. I eat a banana every day and it's in my multi. So there. Anyway, he said I may one day have to have them operated on, but for now it was nothing to worry about.

So now in two weeks I have to get poked and prodded even more at the gyno. I just hope my trusted female doctor (who I followed when she left her last practice) isn't caught in surgery as she was last year. I had to see another doctor, and no female doctors were in. I had an anxiety attack over that. I think it's partly because of the brutal male doctor I saw the day after and for followup after I had the miscarriage at 16. I'm not sure. I was definitely tense, but the doctor was very nice. I told him how I felt before my exam.