She was in trouble before finding out about being adopted and that she has a sister. She had a pregnancy scare and had cut school and ran away before going to that program in MN last year. She was almost finished. It's like something snapped in her head to go back to this kind of behavior, or she was putting on an act all along. Her mom says I've never seen this side of her. Probably true, since I've only seen her twice and written letters.

I'm not sure what the issue is with her living with her mom again. Maybe they think they can't control her? I had to wait until I was 17 to legally live away from my Dad (without getting married, since that wasn't the plan originally). He always knew where I was, though. He may not have liked it, but I never put him in a position to have to fill out a missing persons report.

And another thing, why do I have to wait a day or two to find out that she showed up after being missing, and that she's not in a group home yet? I've had to email her each time to get an update. I know she has a lot going on, but aren't I an interested party? Maybe I'm over-analyzing this. Jeff thinks they could be shutting me out because I'm not 'behind them 100%', meaning not christian, etc. I don't think that's it. All her mom knows is that I don't attend church, unless Danielle told her I'm not a christian. I have no say in anything, anyway. I haven't said this to them, but I think the christian aspect in that program was just another complication. Sure, I may be biased, but the curriculum was frightening. It's like they were drilling it into them.

I think I had an anxiety attack on Saturday at W@lmart. I was lightheaded, felt like my heart rate was elevated, and was having hot flashes or something. We'd just eaten, so that's not it. I was already feeling claustrophobic, so that's what makes me think it was psychological. And then I had to turn the radio off in the car because the stimulus was too much, or something. (Granted, I was playing an Anthrax CD...)

From WebMD:

The risk of developing panic disorder is increased if you:

-Have a family history of panic disorder. You are 8 times more likely to develop panic disorder if a family member has been diagnosed with it. You are also at increased risk if you had a parent with either depression or bipolar disorder.

-Drink alcohol, use illegal drugs, chain-smoke cigarettes, or drink large amounts of coffee or other caffeinated beverages.

Hmmm. My mother was bipolar. I am not sure if that was caused by her head injury, or was just brought out earlier than it would have been. I also drink one Diet C0ke a day, but I also take a green & white tea supplement, and All3gra D, which has pseudoephedrine.