You see, I have had insomnia going on 2 years, and tend to be anemic (low iron) right at that time of the month. Well, when the two hit at once, I'm worthless. And add to this that my sinuses are hurting. The anemia causes lightheadedness and sometimes dizziness, headaches, shortness of breath, fatigue, and a general sense of "batteries dragging." The insomnia can cause fatigue, lightheadedness, headaches, etc. It's like a double whammy. So, the day before and the day I start my period can be especially shitty.

I hope my boss understands. He seems to. He said today that he thought I was taking vitamins. I told him that I do every day, including iron, but it dips sometimes. I didn't want to get into menstrual cycles with him. Luckily I earn annual and sick leave. As long as it's not excessive, I can use my leave however I want.

Another problem caused by my period is depression. This is a recent development. A few months ago, I went into a deep depression for 3 days. I felt on the verge of crying or violence the whole time. On a day I worked from home, I sat at the computer crying. My husband came to the bedroom door and asked timidly, "What's wrong?" I told him honestly that I didn't know. The fact that it was affecting him depressed me more. I felt extra down on myself, too. I have a poor body image, and it was worse at this time. I'm 5'2" and weigh probably 125-130 (I don't own a scale), which is not at all bad. But, when I look into the mirror, I see a cow. I hate the way I look naked. I look pretty good in clothes, because I'm very good at dressing strategically. Anyway, this is what I remember being depressed about, among other specific and non-specific things.

Well, after talking to a few people and even asking an "expert" at WebMD.com a question, I started upping my B6 intake to 200mg a day. This has helped tremendously. I still get a little moody, but that's to be expected. That whole emotional roller coaster has not happened since.

Yet another menstrual problem was hormonal acne, which was solved by ordering ProActiv. This stuff is great. I still break out, but my skin is clearer than it's ever been. Even after taking Accutane (such a horrible experience). A close friend who recently got married started using it, too. Her face broke out as bad if not worse than mine. Me and missleigh went to see her new apartment about a month before the wedding, and her face looked great. I complimented her on it and asked her how she did it. I was so glad she did. As a result, she looked absolutely beautiful for her wedding. There was enough stress to deal with without that little problem.

OK, I'm rambling. So, I almost have my Halloween costume ready. I'm dressing as Clint Eastwood from Fistfull of Dollars. I finally got a gun belt and poncho from eBay, and both are in the mail as I type. Hopefully I'll get them in time for the party Saturday. I have spent way too much money on this. I paid $32 for a hat, $9 for spurs, $10 for boots (which I'll wear again, so they don't really count), $4 for a hanker chief, $29 plus shipping for the gun belt and $20 plus shipping for the poncho. So, that's $104 ($94 w/o the boots). I guess I could sell the hat and poncho on eBay and get some of that money back. It's all because I'm such a freak. I am so picky about this. In '98, I was a pimp. I worked on that costume for at least 2 months. Then, I was a gangster. Luckily I already had a black pinstriped suit. Last year I was an army sergeant. I used my Dad's old dress army uniform (he's a small-statured guy). I've got this whole cross-dressing tradition going on. I wonder what Freud would say?

Bye for now.