Then I thought my father-in-law was going to go into the whole plants-have-feelings-too speech. I just said "whatever" dismissively. After lunch as I was eating a praline, his niece said, "Those are good aren't they? There's worchestershire sauce in them." I stopped chewing and looked at her with my best eat shit look and said, "That's not funny." She said she was kidding, then looked at Jeff and his mom and said, "Dang, she was going to kill me!"

Jeff's mom made us a new quilt. I don't really like it. She definitely made an effort to not put pink fabric in it like the one that's on our bed now, but I like the old one better. She did use this cool starry night fabric for the border and other parts, but the whole thing is just very busy. There's way too many flowered patterns, as well as paisleys out the ass. I know I sound like an ingrate, but I'm just picky. I told her we liked it. I know it takes an incredible amount of work and time to make those, so I'd never let on that I didn't like it.

We went to a couple mattress stores yesterday. At the first one, we found two Simmons Beautyrests that we liked. (I mainly focused on that particular brand because of the commercial where they drop a bowling ball on it and a glass of wine does not fall over. Jeff is the bowling ball in this instance, in the way he flops himself into bed sometimes.) I wrote the specs down and we went to another store. I was not impressed. They did not have specs for the mattresses displayed, i.e. coil count, frame info, plush factor, etc. We did find a Sealy Posturpedic we liked, so I wrote down the specs for that one. We went back to the first store to see if they had a similar Sealy.

See, you can never find the same exact mattress from one store to another. At each chain, the mattress manufacturers give the mattresses different names - like the Simmons "Dresden," or "Calista", or "Sullivan." We thought, hey, how can they honor their price guarantee? That must be how they get out of it. The guy at the first store said they just have to go by the specs.

Anyway, we didn't find a comparable Sealy, so we ended up getting the higher end Simmons we had liked. It was listed at $1299. I laid down on it, and the guy said, "So, you want this one?" I said, "Yeah, but it's 13 hundred dollars!" He asked how much I wanted to pay for it, and I said he wouldn't do it. He said, "Try me." I said $1000. He said "Done." Wow. I didn't think that would work. We ended up doing a $1 lay away thing to lock in that price since he wouldn't be there today when we came back. Then he knocked it down to $910.

I called my brother to see if it would be worth it to drive to Birmingham. He said he didn't think they'd drop the prices like the guy here did. So, we'll go back today to pay for it. I'm so excited! It's a pillowtop! It'll be like sleeping on a cloud! Of course, anything is an improvement over the $300 sore back special we've had for almost 10 years.

We went to the mall last night to spend our gift cards. While Jeff piddled around in Sears, I went to American Eagle Outfitters. I got a "free" $15 gift card when I bought my niece's gift card there. I really didn't like anything in there. I tried on one pair of low rise green corduroy pants. They looked ok, but I felt like I needed to pull my pants up. That's why I don't like that low rise crap. I feel like my ass is hanging out. I was about to just get a couple pairs of underwear when I noticed the fine print - $15 off a $25 purchase. Fuck that.

I went to check on Jeff. He was mesmerized by a socket set, so I went on to the Gap. I had wanted some black jeans, but they had none. I guess they're out of style. Oh, well. I'll just go to Goody's or Kohl's to get some. Fuck style, I want some that fit. So, after about 4 trips to the dressing room and carrying a pile of clothes around the store, I ended up with one pair of slightly faded boot cut jeans, a pair of gray cuffed trousers, and 3 clearance shirts. Not too bad.

Jeff called me on my cell before the final trip to the fitting rooms. He said he was outside waiting on me, and where was I? I had to walk out from behind a column so he could see me. Silly man. We then ate at the food court (red beans & rice, cornbread, & collard greens. mmmmmm.) and went home.

Oh yeah. I took the ornaments off the tree christmas night, and put up all the candle holders and assorted stuff. Now everything, including the tree, is boxed and waiting to be put in the attic. We'd have done it already, but last time just Jeff and I did it, the tree box fell on me. Either I'm not as strong as I think I am, or that thing's a heavy bitch.

From AJC.com:

Raccoon prank imperils frat boys

Three University of Georgia fraternity brothers should seek a doctor after beating, skinning, then eating a raccoon thought to have rabies, officials said.

Athens-Clarke County Animal Control responded to a complaint after hearing about a Dec. 12 incident at the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity house, where a raccoon behaving strangely was found near a trash bin.

Erratic behavior by animals is a symptom of rabies. At least one fraternity member was treated for possible exposure. The raccoon could not be tested because its carcass eventually was burned in the frat house parking lot.

One fraternity member hit the raccoon with a construction pylon and shot it with a pellet gun, officials said. Another member skinned the raccoon on the back of his pickup. A third member cooked and ate some meat off the carcass.

Will a Darwin award be in order?